Kagome's Diary
by SYLVAngelicDemon
Summary: Kagome has had it. She can't take it anymore. She has so many big, life changing decisions to make. And not a lot of time. Her POV. Now it's time to find out how she feels by reading her diary. Rating just to be safe. R
1. Entry 1

Dear Diary,

One Year Ago:

It was just the usual. Inuyasha runs off to go find Kikyou. He

comes back and tries to convince me that it will be the last

time but I kow it won't. Telling me thst he don't love her.

And that is what he went to go tell her that. Well he can't tell

her that he don't want her everyday and that she wouldn't

get the picture. He must have thought that I didn't care. He

never considers my feelings. It's a daily routine. The only

difference is that I usually let myself believe his stupid lies,

telling me that he cares and that he loves me and only me. But I

know better now. He can't convince me no more. Matter-fact. He

won't get the chance. Cause when he comes back from

visiting his precious Kikyou. I won't be here. And when he

finally realizes that I'm not coming back this time. He'll

finally understand how I felt. Alone, sad, angry and betrayed.

It will finally hit him that he lost the very thing that loved

him more than life itself and not some clay pot dead corpse.

To bad for him cause now, a year later, I am happy. I am living a

normal life with a normal boyfriend who shows that he cares and

would never hurt me like Inuyasha did. And big opportunities are

coming my way. I visit my friends in the fuedal era on most

weekends. They tel me that Inuyasha misses me. And I ask them

if he still sees Kikyou. They say yes. And I reply

"Then he must not miss me very much." And I smile.

Cause life is good.

Till next time,

Kagome Higurashi

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this diary

I din't put that at the begining cause it would mess up the whole effect.

I hope you enjoyed this entry. If you didn't. Review anyways. Please


	2. Entry 2

Dear Diary,

Today is November 25, 2005

It has been almost two years since I have spoken to Inuyasha. And the pain tha I use to feel has finall gone away and I am happy. But when my heart finally recovers. I am forced to go back to what caused the damage. Inuyasha. My freinds in the fuedal era told me that he was hurt severly. And only the power of a miko can heal the wounds that he has recieved. I ask them where is Kikyou. Cant she heal his wounds. Is she not also a miko. They tell me that Kikyou is the one that caused these wounds and that she has run of with Naraku. All I can do is laugh. Because he sacrificed my love in order to keep hers. And know look how she repays him. By doing to him what she did a little more than fifty years ago. I think to myself. Hasn't Inuyasha always criticized my power and how I couldn't use it properly. But now it is the only thing that can save him. The one thing that he turned away is the one thing that can save him. I guess he never new that that day would come. To bad for him. My heart isn't ready to face him yet. Not now. Not after I finally recovered. But my mind told me that it is the right thing to do. After all. I am still a preistess. Riencarnated or not. So I have no choice but to face him.

As I get to where he is. I see no other than the bitch herself (Kikyou incase you didn't know) standing over him about to deliver the final blow. "Now we can be together in hell". She says. I don't know how, when, or where I found the strenght to stand up to her crap. But I did and I shouted. "Not yet, if he dies, it will not be by you hands Kikyou". She turned around surprised that I was there. "Yeah and what are you gonna do about it. Nothing. I thought so." She turned around about to deliver the final blow. "Go to hell Kikyou." I said aiming my arrow at her. "And stay there" I finished putting a lot of power into the arrow. I then released the arrow and it purified her ass strait to hell like I said. If she will stay there no one knows. She'll probably comeback like she always does. But untill she does. I have to go. Inuyasha is making a bloody mess.

Bye,

Kagome

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this diary

I din't put that at the begining cause it would mess up the whole effect.

I hope you enjoyed this entry. If you didn't. Review anyways. Please

There will be a next entry soon.


	3. Entry 3

November 26, 2005

Dear Diary,

After I sent Kikyou to hell I ran to go help Inuyasha. Cause that's what miko's' can do. Help hanyous like Inuyasha. Even though he is probably going to act ungrateful later on I'm still obligated to my duty. So I did the right thing and healed his wounds. He called my name faintly, but I heard it. I didn't feel like facing him when he woke up. I couldn't. So I left back to my time. Inuyasha's wounds will heal slower cause of the new moon. He turns human tonight. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry anymore. But I did. Why'd I save him? Knowing that all he is going to cause me is pain allover again. Why? Well I am tired from today so I'm going to sleep.

Till I wake,

Kagome

* * *

**(Back in the feudal era)**

Inuyasha woke up feeling sore.

**Flashback**

Kikyou was above him and about to send him to hell with her. He laid there hurt and unable to move from the loss of blood. He was waiting for her to deliver the final blow. But it never came. He passed out for a second and when he opened his eyes back he saw Kikyou being purified, but by who? He couldn't see who. But he did smell a familiar scent. "Kagome..." he said. It couldn't be, were the last things he thought before he passed out.

**End of flashback**

_Kagome saved me. I have to find her. Where is she? Her scent is gone. She left some time ago. Probably back to her time. I have to go get her and tell her that I'm sorry. Damn tonight's a new moon and I can barely move and I'm human but I have to tell her that I'm sorry._ Inuyasha thought before running as fast as he could to the well. As he reached there he jumped in and climbed a tree that led to Kagome's room. Finding her in her bed sleeping, he could tell from her face that she had been crying. And knowing that he put those tears there made him sad. So instead of waking her he slept on the floor beside her bed until she woke.

(Kagome's time)

November 26, 2005

Dear Diary,

I woke up to find Inuyasha in his human form on the floor next to my bed. What was he doing here? He was still hurt. I feel kind off bad for him but not fully because if he had listened to me before when I told him that Kikyou was going to deceive him this wouldn't have happened. He didn't listen so it's his fault that he turned away from me, and in return she turned away from him and betrayed him. But the kindness of my heart is willing to still help him so I will. And when he wakes up, we are going to have along talk.

Till he wakes,

Kagome


	4. Entry 4

November 27, 2005

_Dear Diary,_

_When Inuyasha woke up we had a long talk. He said that he wanted me to come back to the fuedal era with him. I didn't give him an answer. He said that he'll give me time to think. And that he would come back for me the next day. I'm not sure if I want to go back. You understand, dont you. I can't go back to what I finally got rid of. What crushed my heart to pieces. What destroyed my soul. I don't want to. Or do I? Is the love still there? I mean. How could it be after all that he has done to me? You see. Today. He promised me that he would always protect me, and be there for me, and will stand by my side no matter what. And he sounded real sincere. But can I trust it? Should I allow my heart tobelieve it? What if he breaks his promise? What would I do? Should I even take the chance? I don't know? Is my heart ready for what is to come? If Kikyo comes back, which she willl, what is going to happen? Will Inuyasha go back to her? I really don't want to take that chance. Hmmmm. What am going to do? I am afraid that he will go back to her. And if he does I wouldn't be able to live through it. Not again. Not ever again. But am I willing to risk it? Am I? Do I love him that much?... Well I know what I am going to do and when he comes back in the morning. I am going to have an answer to his question._

_till tomorrow,_

_Kagome

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_

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this diary.

I hope you enjoyed this entry. Review please.


	5. Entry 5

November 28, 2005

Dear Diary,

_It is 2:05 am and Inuyasha is coming a liitle later. I dreaded the very moment. I had to make an important life changing decision. The decision that I make today determines my future from here on out. If I denied his request then I would cut of all ties to Inuyasha and the fuedal era, but if I agreed and went with him ...then I will open up my heart and be vulnerable and naive and open to heartbreak again, I would seal my fate with Inuyasha and we would finally be together... that is till Kikyo comes back. Well I know what I have to do. I made my decision yesterday and now I only have to tell Inuyasha. So here I go. **"Inuyasha I will..." **Those words determined my future._

_My final decision,_

_Kagome

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any characters in the story. But the ideas are all mine.

Sorry that the entry was short but I need your opinion before I write more. Should Kagome **accept** or **reject** Inuyasha after all that he has done.

Please answer when you review. Please review. I have a great idea for if she refuses and a great idea for if she accepts so I need you guys (the readers) help in wich one to pick. Hope you liked the entry anyways. R&R.


	6. Entry 6

November 28, 2005

Dear Diary,

_"Inuyasha I can't go." Those dreaded words that I thought would never come out of my mouth did. When I told him he looked devastated. But how can I say yes to him. After he held my heart in his hand and crushed it even though I begged for mercy. Well I have no mercy right now. I will never hate him. He will always have a place in my heart. But if I accept and go back. That would be the biggest mistake of my life. "Why not?" he asked me. " "Because you don't need me." It pained me to say those words. But I knew I was right. I needed to tell myself and him the truth. "Yes I do need you. Everyone needs you. Please don't do this." he pleaded. I knew that they needed me. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. "Inuyasha. Don't worry Kikyo will be back soon like she always is. And you can run back to her. I'm sure that she will help you with the shards. Because no matter how much she wants you dead. She will always love you. And you will always love her no matter how much times she betrayed you and tried to kill you. So I give it a week bfore she comes back." Every word that I said was true. It burned my throat as I spoke what I knew was deep inside my heart._

_"If your not going to come back for me then please come back for the others. They don't really like Kikyo and won't talk to me because they said I'm the reason that you never came back. So they turn away from me every time that I come into the hut with her. The only people that ever accepted me are now turned away from me because I chose Kikyo and not you Kagome. I made a mistake I'm sorry." I really wanted to believe him but I refuse to be tricked again. So I have no other choice but this. "Inuyasha. You have made many mistakes. And mistakes can be forgiven. But when you make the same mistake over and over again. Knowing that your breaking someone elses heart is unforgivable so. I'm sorry but I can't do back with you. Not now. Or ever. _

_I know right now your feeling hurt and betrayed. But now you will get a little taste of what I have felt over the two years that I traveled with you and this past year trying to forget about you. So you made the mistake. Now it's time to deal with the consequences._

_By Inuyasha."_

_After he left heartbroken, I felt a heavy load lifted of off my shoulder. One less thing to worry about. I had to do what I had to do in order to maintain my sanity. So I guess that is goodbye forever for him. I think that I''ll seal the well tomorrow and move on. I'm tired so I'll write you later._

_Peace at last,_

_Kagome

* * *

_

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story.

I hope you guys liked this entry. This is not the end of the Diary. Se review and put me on alert. I am sorry if i dissapointed you guys who wanted her to accept. But it's all going to play out in the end.

**Summary for the next chap:**

As you read Kagome went to sleep. Well in the next chap she is going to write about the disturbing dream that she had. Will it cause her to change her decision and go back to the fuedal era. Find out next chap.

gabby1123hope your not dissapointed by the chap Inu-child1You got the closest to what's going to happen SlummyRedDragonIt will all play out in the end Fan Girl 1111Your right but it might not be that long. HeariiI am sorry that she didn't accept but what happens will make you happy.

Thank all of you for reviewing 


	7. Entry 7

Dear Diary,

November 29 7:00am

_I had this very disturbing dream last night. It makes me reconsider my decision of telling Inuyasha no. _

(My Dream)

_I was walking in a dark empty void. My destination was unknown. I was incomplete darkness. I didn't know when the darkness would end. Then I saw a bright light and ran towards it. The more I ran towards it, the further it got away from me. All of sudden I felt myself falling and everything went black. When I opened my eyes I was in a grassy field and something was hovering above me. I looked up to see what it was and I saw Naraku and his samiyosha. I tried to scream but nothing came out. Naraku was laughing at me. He told me that all of my friends were dead and that I was next. He was about to kill me but was stopped when a pink light evolved around my body, it but a barrier around my body and sent Naraku flying backwards. I got up and started to run. When I got into a clearing I saw my friends lying on the floor bloody and on the verge of death. They were calling for me to help them. But I couldn't help them. I didn't have enough power. Something told me that I could have prevented it. I sat there and watched as the last breaths of my friends slipped out and watched them die. Naraku came out and I didn't put up a fight. I let him kill me. I felt like I deserved to die. I should have been there. I could have been there. I should've gone when Inuyasha asked me. But I didn't and it was my fault that they were dead. I thought that Naraku did a favor in killing me._

(End of Dream)

_I woke up sweating. Was this dream a sign? Should I go back to the feudal before it's too late? Maybe I shouldn't have told him no. I have the feeling that my friends are in grave danger. What could my dream mean? I have to find out. I have to do what I swore to myself I would never do again………………… I have to go to the feudal era. I have to make sure that everyone is alright. If what happened in my dream really does come true; I hope that Naraku truly does kill me. I guess I have no other choice but to go back._

_I'll write back when I reach the well._

_Till I reach the well,_

_Kagome

* * *

_

Dear Diary,

November 29 10:00 am

_I finally reached the well. I lived a couple hours from it walking. I packed everything that I thought I would need. I dreaded going back to the feudal era but also rejoiced because I haven't seen my friends in awhile and wanted to see how everything changed. I missed the fresh and pure air of the feudal era. I put one of my feet over and thought about all the good times I had in the feudal era. I put the other and jumped in. I landed on the bottom of the well. It wouldn't let me through. I wondered if Inuyasha could still travel through the well if I couldn't so I did the only thing I could think of. I cut my self and made myself bleed. It worked last time when he smelled my blood. Like I had predicted a couple of minutes later Inuyasha came through the well and rushed towards me asking me if I was alright. He said that he smelled my blood. I told him that I was alright and just couldn't get through the well. He was shocked that I was coming back to the feudal era and gladly agreed to take me through the well._

_Well I have to put you away now before Inuyasha gets nosy and asks what I'm writing. I'll write you soon._

_Till I get to Lady Kaede's village,_

** :-)** -

_Kagome

* * *

SORRY FOR THE LONG UPDATE! I made these entries extra long because of the long wait._

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in the story. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Well Kagome is in the feudal era now. So she has a lot of things to face and do.

I'll update soon.


	8. Entry 8

November 29

Noon

Dear Diary,

I reached the feudal era. I almost forgot how fresh the scent was here. It's beautiful. I don't know how I stopped myself from going back for these past years. When I saw my friends I was glad and couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face. Nothing has really changed since I left. But Naraku has a large fragment of the jewel shard. Miroku and his lecherous ways are still the same. He tried to grope me as usual. Sango of course knocked him out with the hiraikotsu . Shippo was really happy to see me too. That's good. I know this entry is short but I'll be writing soon so.

Till next time,

Kagome

* * *

I know the entry is short but I'm updating real soon. Probably later on today. I'm in school right now.

R&R


	9. Entry 9

_Dear Diary,_

November 29

_When I saw my friends today all of the memories that we had together came flooding back. I couldn't remember why I left in the first place; but then I looked at him, Inuyasha, and all the painful memories came back. I should have found out about Naraku but my heart was so overwhelmed with happiness and grief. I later on found out that Kouga took Ayame as his mate once he found out I was gone. I'm glad for them. They deserve each other. They'll be happy together, even though Ayame does have a temper. When Inuyasha was out of hearing distance Sango told me that Kikyo betrayed Inuyasha again and that's why Naraku had a large fragment of the jewel shard. Figures; Inuyasha would be the idiot to let her get her hands on them. She told me how they all rejected her and told Inuyasha not to fall for it, but being the stupid han'yo that he is, he didn't listen. Coming back to the feudal era didn't ignite any feelings for Inuyasha. I'm glad that it didn't. I now know that I am full over him because when I see him I don't feel anything. Nothing stirs within me. He's just there._

_While we were shard hunting I sensed a strong demonic aura. We all got prepared to battle but it turned out that it was just Sesshomaru, the cold ice lord of the western lands. He walked by us with his forever stoic face expression. He actually didn't fight with is this time. I guess he was just passing by. After Sesshomaru left we continued on our journey to Naraku. While we were walking Inuyasha made a weird facial expression but quickly replaced it with his 'normal' look. We reached a clearing in the woods to ran into someone we didn't plan on seeing so soon, it could be no other than the infamous clay-potted whore, Kikyo._

_To another horrible surprise,_

_Higurashi, Kagome_

* * *

Well that's the end of the entry.

**Disclaimer:** I didn't put it in the previous chap./entry so this is for both: I do not own the characters in this diary/story.


	10. Entry 10

_November 29_

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't believe Kikyo had the nerve to show her face after what she did. And can you believe what she asked for. She asked for Inuyasha's forgiveness. The vindictive witch. Only kami knows how much I despise her. She told Inuyasha that she was under Naraku's control and that it wasn't her fault. We all stood there and watched for Inuyasha's reaction. At first I thought that he actually believed her because his face was calm. Thankfully I was wrong. A couple seconds after she finished speaking, Inuyasha's whole expression changed. His looked bewildered and pissed beyond imagination. It didn't look like he believed her. "You betrayed me, almost killed me and probably would have if it wasn't for Kagome. And now you just expect me to forgive you and take you back into my arms. You must be out of your mind Kikyo. I have too much to loose this time. I'm not loosing Kagome again over you, you're not worth it" Those words were like music to my ears. He finally told her off. And I hoped that when he said he had too much to loose that I was included. Kikyo got enraged at that comment. She told him that the only reason that he was saying those 'lies' was because of me. And she also said that he would soon come to realize that I'm not the one for him. "The only reason that you're with her is because she reminds you of me. She will always be the replacement. Just remember that." And then she left. Her words didn't affect me the way they used too. I didn't care anymore because I knew that we may have our looks and even our scent extremely similar to each other. But we could never be like each other because our souls are totally different._

_Till next time,_

_Kagome_ :-)

* * *

Sorry for the long update. I was on vacation for 2 weeks and came back on the 3rd. I did not have any internet for my whole vacation. It was horrible.

I hope you like the entry. Leave a review on the way out.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters inthe entry.


	11. Entry 11

_November 30_

_Dear Diary, _

_Things are going good. I have not seen Kikyou in a while. We still do not know where Naraku is. We need to get the jewel shards soon. _

_I went for a walk by myself today. While I was walking, I saw a girl in the field. She looked familiar. She was about thirteen years old. She had messy long hair up to her waist and big brown eyes. She was starting to be developed. It finally hit me who it was. It was Rin. The last time that I had seen her was when she was eleven. I called to her to see if she recognized me. She looked up from her flower picking and stared at me for a couple of seconds. Then she dropped her flowers and ran to me. She started talking a whole bunch about what she has done and how everyone was doing. She was still as energetic as when I last saw her. A couple minutes after Rin started to get into her conversation I saw Sesshomaru. Well he really did not change physically but there was a softer look in his face. I think I can blame Rin for that. He down at me because he was taller than me and just told Rin to come on and then they left. Well I guess it was good to see and know that every one was doing well._

_Till next time_

_Kagome

* * *

_

I did not write this but Kagome was in the feudal era for three years and then plus the two when she was not so in my story she is twenty years old. Sango is 23 and Miroku is 24. And Rin was eight so now she is 13.

I am also sorry for not updating in so long. I moved again and school just got harder so I will start being consistent on my updating again. Hope you enjoyed this entry I will update soon.


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